“Ravishing”, he said.

I don’t remember his name, I seriously don’t. I cant even give him any alphabet. “Ravishing” is the first word we communicated so maybe I would call him that.  RIP, Ravishing.  He was decreased few years ago, few months before their wedding.

On FB, I have been collecting .jpg of paintings, sometimes photography. He commented on the one I had for Kelly Rutherford, “Ravishing”. Thats when we started talking. He shared one of his favourite picture of Kate Bush, I told him my favourite is Ashley Judd. These three women have something in common: glamours, graceful and ravishing.

We started to chat on a lot of things. We have mutual interests to songs of Kate Bush. During those time, we would play her songs in the air respectively while we were chatting with each other.

He told me a lot of his life in Oxford and about Britpop. We also shared the depression together at the same time. Worse, he had Schizopherenia: heavy mood swings, high sex drive, and racing thoughts.

He grew up in a broken family. Studying aboard in Oxford was a release for him. However the cultural shock had cause him bad impact. The weed helped him throught the studies of laws and the license he needed. We talked a lot of fun stuff, focusing on how we feel in the depression, the side effects of our ‘happy pill’ (sarcastically) supporting each other greatly & deeply. His weird thoughts has kept him away from usual social gatherings, he was despice and been treated unfair in his job and family.

He did meet an angel who became his girlfreind. She is a simplier woman, a hairstylist in a small town about 2 hours drive away from where he lived. She gave him a simplicity of everything, thats pretty much what he could afford to have and wanted to have. He said he planned to quit his high-pay job and become a poor musician in the town where his girlfriend lives, and was about to propose the marriage to her. I was happy for him. We discussed on how to go about the proposal.

Finally we met for lunch after few months of constant chats online. He has his spectacle slided down too easily on his face, i guess it was loosen and it needed a fix. He didnt have an impressive physical apperance (I knew it by seeing his picture before) but the lunch chat was as great as we were online. We didnt have a second of dead air, we had so much to share with each other, just like how it was online. Furthermore, we had real laughters and seeing each other in reality.

After lunch, I walked him back to his office, through the Twin Towers Suria Mall, through the music fountain, through the stalls at the busy roadside with heavy traffic, finally arrived in an area with short blocks of offices, a much quietier place. He showed me his office, a small quiet dark place. And piles of files on every corner of his offices and desks. We hang out for a while until his phone started to ring more. He showed me the way out to the cab station. We went through some dark staircase and continue chatting, walking slowly. We would be parted for good, the first, last, one and only chance we would meet, although we didnt know that. We stood there in the dark staircase for a while. We dont know why, the conversation was still going on, it wasnt any special conversation that needed us to stop for better talking. Maybe it was the time and place we finally have, when we have the room all to ourselves, without any other external influences. Most importantly, it was dark and quiet, those 10 minutes were the only time in the whole journey. His right hand swung a litlte, I guess he wanted to reach out for mine. I lean myself a little closer to him, just to make sure he reads the sign. Somehow, it was ended there. We left for the cab station and I left.

Right at the moment we waved goodbye while I was in the cab, we were then back to texting. He said my lips was calling while I talked and he wanted kiss them. I told him I would give him a bj if he did. He said Ouch. Oh no. How would I miss that. It was ended with LOLs. Im not sure I was attracted to him in that way, maybe I said that just to make him happy, Im not sure. I had never done that before at that time. I do not think we were anything more than a pal in sharing, we didnt exchange much emotional or personal details, it was more on our hobbies or the daily life.

Few months later, his girlfriend texted me in FB asking me who I am. I said Im his friend and I showed my freindship by congratulating their wedding. I would never want to hurt another woman. Few years later, another mutual freind told me he did quit his job and lived in the town as he planned. He became friend with this friend of mine who is another very simple and innocent woman. I started to think how his life has really come down to simplicity that he would become good friend with this lady, they called each other elder sister and younger brother – we often do that a genuine friendship of opposite gender while we want something more than freindship, but not romance, thats family. Sadly, his life was ended from an accident. I can’t imagine how hard it would be for his girlfriend.

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