You want to know too much too soon. You ask me to describe myself, ask me broad questions, ask me to tell you what type of person I am. Don’t you realize I cannot answer that? I can only give you my opinion. And my opinion is often wrong. And in this case my opinion would be quite biased to what I want myself to be, to what type of person I want to be or think I am- which can be quite different than what I am.
I am sorry to tell you that there are no shortcuts here- few of the important things in life have them. You have to put in the time to learn about me, and yes, figure me out, for yourself. It takes time, but in my opinion it is some of the best of times. Whatever the reason you are so insistent (which I will figure out in time), I am afraid I must put the breaks on it. You will not just get a summary. There are no Cliff Notes to my life- and even if there were I would not give them to you. If Shakespeare or Tolstoy knew more people would read synopsis than the entire work they may never have written them in the first place.
I am not a greatest hits album. I am years and years of ups and downs, learning, experiencing, and changing. I will make you listen to the bad songs that you may rather skip, but then you would not know how the great songs came to be. Isn’t that important to you? Doesn’t that interest you? Regardless, I will make you relive the bad years so you can appreciate the good ones. Without the background, what will a story mean to you?
Each story is unique for the audience. I will not give you something generic. You deserve more than that. And I deserve more than to have my life made into a commodity. Each person is unique and so should their story be, to each person to whom they tell it.
You ask me why I painted the sky that shade of blue- one day you will know me so well that you will know the answer to that question without ever needing to ask it. And that is the only way to fully know.