I would not leave a note. At least I don’t think I would. What if it didn’t go as planned? That would be the worst. They say women want to fail just for the attention, men want to succeed to get it done. For me the fear of embarrassment would mean I would do my […]

I want to forget about you- but you are in my thoughts more than I will acknowledge. I want to dislike you- but I admire so much about you. I want to be disgusted by you- but I cannot help being attracted to you. I want to reduce you to a stereotype – but you […]

I’ll admit, my first thought was: “Oh crap, my new boss is going to want to eat lunch with me everyday.” Yes, at the moment that was my bigger concern (since it could be long lasting), not your final time with the group and how I know you wanted it to be. But only momentarily, […]

You inspired me. Inspired me to reach out to others that have drifted away- either me from them or them from me, or both drifted off in our own directions. Reach out? Keep in touch? Extend a hand? Even if they have turned away from you, hurt you, abandoned you? That concept is foreign to me. […]

I know you’re used to having people fall in love with you in no time at all- but unfortunately it won’t be quite like that anymore. All it used to take was a little time and it would most surely happen. They would first be captivated by your presence and looks- this is how you […]

Leaving this building for the last time. This building that was built for us over 60 years ago. This place with so much history, where several movies were filmed. This place where I learned about myself, others, my job, my industry; and grew in all ways accordingly. What a strange feeling to never walk in […]

…and for the first time I could see you as your own person. It was so strange that I just had to stop. I had to stop everything and just close my eyes. It hit me in a flash. Kind of like that time a few weeks ago while I was watching those children and […]

It is only when I turn off the light, head on the pillow, pillow over my face- that I stop and think. Only then that I realize how thoughtless my priorities have been, how stupid my decisions have been. I should have listened more, asked questions more, spoken sweeter more, helped more, explained more, been […]

The Fall Fall onto this couch with me. Let’s fall together, in each other’s arms. Pretend like we lost our balance- but find happiness in knowing we didn’t. We did it on purpose, and it’s funny and joyous so we giggle on the way down, and for the first few seconds after we land. Then […]

Last night I was kept awake by delusions of of grandeur. I thought that someone would want to be with me. That if I touched her hand or shoulder she would feel something special- that she would think it was sweet. Thought that if I gently lowered my head and rested it on her shoulder […]

You want to know too much too soon. You ask me to describe myself, ask me broad questions, ask me to tell you what type of person I am. Don’t you realize I cannot answer that? I can only give you my opinion. And my opinion is often wrong. And in this case my opinion […]

We have a lot of catching up to do. Like how I went to the beach the other day, the last time swimming for this year, no one else in the water- and I would be out there and some of the waves would break way out and when they did it would look like […]

And in a flash I see myself doing it. I have thought about it dozens of times but, never actually pictured myself doing it, until now. And I wonder- is it ever peaceful? Can it ever be peaceful? When you have a healthy body and only an unhealthy mind- can it ever be peaceful for […]

Remember that time we swung on the swings and didn’t want it to stop because we knew it would bring this dream to an end? Well that’s how I feel right now. This is no dream or nightmare- but real life. Help me- I can’t fall asleep. And right now I want to. To Dream. […]

Mom’s Friend can be a wild one – let me tell you. I will share with you a tale of some experiences I had last summer with one of my mom’s best friends. I met her because she is a friend of my mom and my sister (she is only five years older than me). […]

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid – Please don’t be stupid. Too much is at stake. And I always think it’ll be different this time – prove me wrong once again. Throw it all away once again.But what about the dreams and the plans and the hopes – What about them? What about Bozeman and the big house […]